Read our submission guidelines, and pitch us at firstperson@vox.com. Its a repetitive, cliched stream of insults, and I sit there and take it, because I must be too weak and stupid to defend myself. Often times, Ill be at work daydreaming about wanting to go home. Related Post: Why Quitting Alcohol Can Feel Like Grief, Its perfectly okay to say, Hey, Im in a weird spot right now.. Every part of my life has changed since giving up alcohol. Please also read our Privacy Notice and Terms of Use, which became effective December 20, 2019. I never really took the time after stopping to really work through my root cause of addiction nor what I wanted to do with my life afterwards. The intensity dimmed. But youll never experience the thrill of sending dozens of incoherent text messages to people you met once during the first George W. Bush administration. And what about all the time you spent on your addiction? But, on my way home, Ill ponder what on earth Im gonna do at home for 6 hours all by myself. Volunteering is a great way to reconnect with your community. I have been sober for 6 weeks, mainly due to health and the weight it has put on. Having a routine seems to help, and when I have to work and miss it, I notice, in a good way. Duh. To learn more or opt-out, read our Cookie Policy. Answer (1 of 2): Isn't life pointless even without a disability? Lets assume the worst-case scenario: all our lives are meaningless. It sounds like youre using weed and alcohol to manage your life in a way, and its not working out. Im awaiting a hip replacement so Im home a lot at the moment, during the day its fine I keep busy but the evenings are slow and boring. 10 Reasons Cutting Alcohol Out Of My Life Was Hard, But So Worth It Life is pointless, but that doesn't mean it can't . Not because you should keep your expectations low, but because small acts can have great significance. (modern), she was not prepared for the impact it had, Old Man of the Sea for most of my adult life. Something went wrong. And going to aa meetings. And I drank four to five times a week. I cannot thank you enough for this article. Now, I have to go out of my way to find things to do, and I often do them alone. The reason? Reality Check: Are You Enabling Your Adult Child? Answer (1 of 19): You ask "Why life without alcohol is so damn empty." We're all in the same boat when it comes to finding things on this Earth to make us feel fulfilled and happy. It requires relentless honesty, so let me honestly say that, sometimes, I sure miss alcoholism. Dopamine depletion can cause apathy, boredom, and lack of motivation. If your life feels devoid of purpose, I would like to invite you not to panic. | I feel ready to keep going now knowing with your promise that it will get eventually better. Now I am back at work and alcohol-free again. Life felt meaningless- like one big cycle of repetition, surrounded by people with weighed eyes, and a loss of enthusiasm for life. When the belief in the personality-self dissolves and we uncover the inherent emptiness within all things, this can cause serious disorientation, a kind of vertigo. One of the biggest impediments to my sobriety during my relapse days was my inability to avoid getting consumed by emotions. Thank you for sharing this with us, Luis! Friday & Saturday was the big days full of drink so weekends have lost their fun. But I PROMISE you, if you keep moving forward, things in your brain will start to click. Or maybe thats self-justifying crap. Im 3 months in and the anxiety is really hard. #2. Ive replaced alcohol with super fizzy water and everything is better. If you have the time, sign on to a longer-term project like helping with this years charity bake sale or the big 5K race your city holds yearly. What is it's agenda? First, lets revisit some terminology. I keep going on and on about Friend X who didnt invite me to this event. Im 148 days dry and everything is BORING. I have plenty to do as a single Mom who lives with her elderly Mother. I found after about eight months I can have the occasional drink at weddings etc with no problem, it doesnt trigger me wanting to continue. The biggest (personal) takeaway from the COVID-19 outbreak is that life doesn't hand out meaning. 1. On the other hand, your workout hours go down. What do we hope to accomplish through psychotherapy? So why do we accept, trust, and follow this feeling so blindly? Cant seem to get a sour dough starter to last lol. I truly dont see the harm in doing it recreationally the same way other people take actual vacations. We often only know a few months out what our advertising revenue will be, which makes it hard to plan ahead. Its particularly therapeutic to find something to do with your hands. I did all my drinking in the house. I never thought of myself as an alcoholic. I just liked doing it because i was terrified of incarceration. Maybe you think Im full of shit. You hit the nail on the head, there is no cure for this & we have to accept the consequences of quitting. Youre so welcome! Whether your sobriety has you wallowing in boredom or self-pity, please know that it will get better. The good news is that what youre feeling does pass eventually but it is a real pain in the ass to deal with in the early days. Dont want to do anything and dont want to do nothing!! 7 Things To Do When Life Feels Meaningless - Medium Truth is, there is no cure for this. It helped me learn a lot about my weaknesses and what I dont want to be anymore. The hours you used to devote to drinking and recovering from drinking have to be filled now with well, who knows what? No point. It sounds like youre in a rough place, and I hope you find a way to pull yourself out of it. What did you enjoy doing before drinking came around and took over your social life? Are you bored? Most weekends I got out and about sober for at least one day. If the internet has shown us anything, its that neither matters. Whether you get treatment for co-occurring mental health conditions. Sober and bored? It's Normal. Here's What To Do About It. This can lead to feelings of extreme boredom and apathy. If you also believe that everyone deserves access to trusted high-quality information, will you make a gift to Vox today? 5 Reasons Why Your Life Feels Pointless | Psychology Today Thanks for the article. Ideally, the therapist has a way of running you through some sort of assessment so you can get feedback about your situat. The hours you used to devote to drinking and recovering from drinking have to be filled now with well, who knows what? They wont miss you as much as you will gain (and then too jn the big picture) if you come home a little later a few days. But living without alcohol is not the end; it's the beginning. Check out community centers or any yoga-by-donation events if money is an issue. "Abstinence from alcohol over several months will improve memory and thinking. Its not always going to feel like this.. Yuck! Thanks for sharing this. I just tell them why I quit (when they ask), and I think their insecurities get triggered. If you dont love it, try something else. We just have to accept that substance abuse was a choice we made and we have to deal with the consequences of quitting. Im newly sober (6 days) and Im STRUGGLING with boredom. Thank you for this article. Fortunately, there are more ways than ever to connect with like-minded people who are fellow travelers on this path. Tim Lott meets him as he. Smoking pot cured everything for me for a while. I used to have a booze-free month every year. Bono of U2 has an anecdote about eating dinner with Johnny Cash. At 14 I started on Muscat Marsala and Milk. Would I rather live in sober mediocrity for four more decades or be a kickass rock star for four more months? Ive been where you are, as have thousands of other sober people who had to learn to have a life again after sobriety. You want to live a meaningful lifea life that has a point. I used to love going to bars for hours. First, lets assess your definition of meaning.. If I am suffering, its because I am too sensitive, too weak to handle the harsh truths of the world, which means I deserve to feel bad. 3. Highly recommend it. It just made you not care. 1 year weed free, life feels empty without it : r/leaves - Reddit We are stressed-out, overstimulated, tech-obsessed creatures. My drinking career was not as well drawn as Roseanne. You sweat a lot, but you dont sweat the small stuff. A drink, even just one drink, gave me a burst of instant ambition, followed by a rather anticlimactic 9pm procrastination slump once the kids were in bed, consisting of watching dumb YouTube clips about how evil Trump is, or some dissatisfying Netflix crap, until I couldnt keep my eyes open and crawled into bed at 12.30.Now I understand that what I craved was actually the mouth feel, more than the alcohol. Its like building an IKEA couch with a time limit, except youve burned the instructions, and it turns out the couch is actually a table. Your email address will not be published. Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC. Are you religious? If I didnt feel I had an interesting life, with things to do, then I suppose it would matter less if I wasted some of it semi-aware, through drink. You are rotten for being so critical and nothing will ever make you happy (obviously not your chosen home life either) if you choose to be miserable and refuse to look out side the box. Its like figuring out how to play the guitar. This was an excellent read for me. Is it going to cure your boredom? Its a vicious cycle. Psychology Today: Health, Help, Happiness + Find a Therapist So my goal is to put the bottle down to become a more productive person. We were all just sitting around and getting drunk, perfectly content to not really do anything together. What can I do to fix this? If youre interested in this topic, there are a few books I highly recommend that will help you understand whats going on and how to get past it: I also recommend watching this very lengthy but enlightening interview on the Huberman Lab with Dr. Anna Lembke. Its important to have the right mindset about sobriety. What did you like to do? But it served a purpose, I couldnt ever imagine just quaffing wine at home as some daily ritual. It made it bearable though. 'What Is the Point of Life?': Why You Might Feel This Way - Verywell Mind But I didnt know what to do with them besides feel them. Each week, we explore unique solutions to some of the world's biggest problems. Oh, okay. I think a lot about what the consequences would be if I didnt quit; The first thing I noticed a few weeks in is how happy I felt all the time. Get up, go to work, come home, eat your fiber, spend 50 minutes on the treadmill, sleep eight hours, repeat. Youve got this! Dark clouds will go away. I would have celebrated 2 years this coming November, but picked up last weekend because I was feeling bored, lonely, and really sorry for myself. Knowing strategies to fix problems or prevent them is important. As with any bully, to engage is to concede. Lewis Capaldi - Pointless Lyrics | Genius Lyrics Lol. I would totally love to learn to knit or DIY refurbish a chair like they do on Flea Market Flip, but for now, I mostly stick to writing and playing with my very active (and talkative) five-year-old daughter. Sure, you tried to do that with drinking, but look where that got you! I was quite surprised, however, to find that the chief effect was not physical as much as it was mental the depression and violent outbursts which had haunted me for decades gradually ebbed away. You just met The One or maybe a shady character. Before I started drinking too much, I loved to write. It happens to the best of us. Twitter: @emersondameron. Couple this with improved mental health, and the fact you . No one watches TV shows about healthy relationships. Just content and relaxed. Getting full time hours at work helped too. (And no matter how our work is funded, we have strict guidelines on editorial independence.) Boredom is huge. But for many people, lingering feelings of anxiety, depression, and general malaise can last weeks, months, or even longer. As the title says, life is pointless. In the meantime, the Soberish community is here to support you and help you get there. So, when I was drinking, I had an. Life is actually meaningless, and some individuals are merely sensitive and perceptive enough to see it. When I drank alcohol, I could (and did) sit and do nothing for hours. Inspirational. Nice Article. I now realize how MUCH alcohol was part of everything i did and how much time I floated around in the Sea of Drunk! Thank you so much for this article. 9 Facts That Prove Life On Earth Is Meaningless - HuffPost because it allows you to try out several different gyms and classes without having to make a commitment to any of them. But thats quite a drive from where I live, is only possible 3 months a year, and is getting quite expensive even just going a few times a year. I didnt think, or do, or dream much at all. And I had to think about it for a second. r/alcohol - Alcohol makes me think life is pointless and nothing is The problem is that I dont have time. I so appreciate what youve said. They'll probably be just fine. It also opens up space to approach your internal world differently. We lose all light that used to make our life seem bright, alert, happy. Dopamine is another neurotransmitter that is responsible for feelings of pleasure and happiness. Sober for 12 days nowstruggling with all the floods of emotions and how bored i feel. Ive avoided alcohol all my life. If you grew up in Western culture, you might have pictured financial security, thrilling travel, and a comfortable home containing a healthy family. When your existence is pointless, you shift focus to things that have more longevity than your own ego. Reader support helps keep our explainers free for all. Choosing a new hobby to occupy your time is not always easy. Find a hobby and/or social activity to get involved in. 3) Life is a combination of both meaning and meaninglessness. This isnt a bad targetit just isnt the best target for everyone. Id classify it more as a tool. And I once used vodka to get a nasty wine stain out of a friends white carpet before he even saw it. The focus on making friends at work seems to be tragically misguided. I remember feeling lonely and bored at the beginning of my sobriety a few years ago but now I enjoy my life in a different way . In the absence of alcohol, do you even like talking to your friends? The list is endless: 1. Pointless: When Life Loses All Meaning Amara Strand I think acceptance of something is the road to healing. Its nice to know Im not alone and cant wait to be able to walk my dogs again to feel normal. Pursue outdoor activities like kayaking or fishing. If you also believe that everyone deserves access to trusted high-quality information, will you make a gift to Vox today? Instead Im drinking coffee, listening to the birdsong and planning my day. Before alcohol wrecked my health, my bank account, and my pancreas, it helped me have a lot of cool conversations and adventures I may not have had otherwise. But we actually need the opposite of that. Youve faced the painful reality that your original lifes goal can lead only to meaninglessness. I decided to quit drinking a few days before Christmas and to use my New Years resolution as an excuse for my drinking buddies, who to this day still dont understand why I quit and have even come across as resentful towards me, like they think b/c I quit that Im judging them. Your email address will not be published. Will eating salads and drinking water make your boredom go away? To the little . It may require a bit of soul-searching, I would totally love to learn to knit or DIY refurbish a chair like they do on, , but for now, I mostly stick to writing and. Maybe you will be the caretaker of a lovely garden. Wine helps . Think life is pointless? Let's kill that demon. - Skip Cummins Required fields are marked *. Im forced to deal with the emotions rather than bury them which I know deep down is better. Wishing you strength and luck in the days and weeks ahead. I couldnt honor my commitments, so I didnt have many commitments in the first place. When you avoided stepping on the ladybug. Can you get involved at your place of worship? Or are you lonely? By focusing on eating healthy, nourishing foods, you are actively working on reversing those symptoms. 'Everything is better without alcohol, and I really do mean everything If nothing, how can I move past it? Also- there is no one size fits at for everyone, but this writer has some great ideas. A . A therapist can help treat the underlying symptoms through therapeutic modalities like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or trauma-processing techniques. This really helped I hadnt thought of the chemical connection and that makes sense and knowing these feeling will get better is a relief cos they are not great. These are all things youre trying to overcome from drinking. I was bored yet filled with anxiety. Its likely your doctor will order some bloodwork, which can be the start of your path to physical recovery. Sobriety forces you to re-examine your social life in ways that are uncomfortable. There is nothing like experiencing a brand-new city or country. More "busy-ness.". I love when she laughs for no reason. (Spoiler: YES! You nailed it when you said that you didnt want to do anything and didnt want to not be doing anything either. What Happens When You Drink Alcohol Everyday: 5 Severe Effects 'Life Is Pointless' Might Be the Biggest Coronavirus Takeaway The Truth About How Boring Life Is Without Alcohol - Medium The thought of life being pointless may disturb someone because .